I work in an office full of men. I live in a city full of beautiful women. I live in a country where the standard of beauty is full lips, narrow nose, slanted eyes, light skin, long straight hair, big ass, big tits & a small waist.
The only thing I have on that list is a small waist. I am thin with a small butt, no boobs, big eyes, wide nose, thin lips, thick curly hair and brown skin. According to the American standard of beauty...I am not beautiful. Neither are most of the women in the world. Men are lusting after the societal standard and they are working hard to obtain those women. Most men now-a-days aren't pounding the pavement so they can save up and provide a nice home for their future wife and kids. No, they are working hard so they can get that beautiful woman on their arms and in their beds. They see on TV that in order to obtain these pretty women you must have plenty of money to keep them. These women want to be bought and owned, shower them with nice things and they will stay and be pretty for you.
The women who are like me, who don't fit the standard, many of them are "fixing" themselves in order to fit the mold. Plastic surgery is at an all time high and it's still majority women who are getting cosmetic procedures.
Of course it is, because men aren't trying to change their looks just to get a woman or to look like Irdis Elba. It's women who are changing their looks to get a man.
Men want Stacey Dash, Kim K, Nia Long and Meagan Good. This has women spending their last dime to look like these celebs hoping a man will check for them. Some women will scream and shout that they have all these crazy surgeries for themselves, butt implants and the whole shabang. But if we are really honest with ourselves, I mean look deep down inside and talk to our soul...if women weren't praised for their looks, or if they showed "average women" in magazines and if men didn't cum on themselves just from looking at Kim K...would we really be pressed to risk our lives for plastic surgery? Think about it.
Would you be happy with your looks if there was no beauty standard and no pressure to look like a certain celebrity?
There was a time when I wanted to have a nose job and my boobs enhanced. The only thing that was stopping me was lack of money and the risk of dying. Was I really going to risk my life for a bigger chest? Was I really that shallow and insecure? As I grew a little older my perception began to change...I wanted the surgery less even though the pressure grew. I moved to Atlanta where all the women are gorgeous and being as close to perfect looking is almost a law. I wanted to gain the reaction from men that these women were getting, I wanted every man to want me. If I had bigger boobs and a smaller nose would they want me then? Hmm I will never know. At that time I believed so, but as I see the type of men that are in this town...I don't feel like I'm missing out on anything if all of them hit on me. My percentage of finding someone would be up most definitely, but do good looks guarantee a husband? Definitely not.
I am in no way calling myself ugly, I just know what most men are drooling over and it isn't me. It probably isn't you either if we are being honest. Some women who are reading this..yes it's you. You're the standard of beauty. But for the majority of us...we need to set our own standard of beauty. That standard is YOU. All women are beautiful whether society sees it that way or not. We need to stop dragging each other in the dirt because we all don't look like super models. If we try to live up to the standard or if we live our lives thinking that only certain women are beautiful, then we will never be happy.
Working with all men, I sometimes go to lunch with a group of them and they either talk about sports or women. They pick women apart and only want the creme of the crop, everyone else is trash. Hearing that day in and day out can be hard at times, but it's also helped me grow and learn to love myself even more.
I realized that I am beautiful just the way I am. Trying to live up to the standard of being every man's wet dream is not a priority anymore. I only need to be beautiful to one person and that person is my future husband. Only one person needs to think you are beautiful. Don't get me wrong, being admired is flattering and I enjoy it sometimes...sometimes. I'm an attractive woman and I get hit on quite often but it doesn't make or break me. If I worried about what every shallow man thought of me, I would be depressed. I really would. I know that I look good, it took a long road to get here but I'm happy with who I am. I love myself and my looks, I am beautiful and you can't tell me otherwise. I set my own standard of beauty and that standard is myself. I can only be me and there's no one else like me, that in itself is enough. There is only one me!
I AM BEAUTIFUL. I AM THE STANDARD.
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