The First Time I Felt It (My Thoughts On Zimmerman Verdict)

I waited for 2 days to hear the verdict and on the 2nd day I received a text from my mother that read "George Zimmerman not guilty". My heart sank into my stomach and I cried. I couldn't believe it. I couldn't freaking believe it. It had to be a mistake, I thought someone jumped the gun as usual and posted false information. There was just no way in hell that this scumbag got off for killing an innocent child?!?!?! No way! I kept refreshing the CNN.COM news page on my phone hoping it would read differently but it didn't. It was clear as day...ZIMMERMAN NOT GUILTY. I texted everyone in my phone who I thought would care as much as I did. My sadness turned into rage. Never in my lifetime (I'm 26) have I experienced such injustice. This was the first time I really saw how unjust this country is. As a black woman I can admit we have it easier than our black men, we know about the cruelty and racism but we don't experience it as much as them.

When it's flashing across my screen in 2013, I experience all of it. My heart ached for Trayvon and for every black man walking this earth. Today someone told me that I should have experienced this feeling in regards to Troy Davis, but I can only feel what's real to me and I can't apologize for that. I was ignorant about the Davis case until days before his execution just like many others. I wasn't fronting pretending to know what I was talking about when I didn't have a clue what was going on. What happened to Troy Davis was unfair and unjust, but my heart wasn't invested in it. My heart has been invested in the Martin case for over a year now and for it to come to this makes me weak. Every time I think about it or try to talk about it I become extremely passionate, my voice gets loud and my arms begin to flail around. THIS moved me to my core. I've read books and seen movies on the civil rights movement and I recognized how badly our people were treated. So many leaders fought and died so that we can have rights and so that we may be protected. 

Fast forward to present day. We have a society of Internet activist that like to hashtag and blackout photos showing their support for the victims. When the media circus dies down, they're activism dies down as well. Hastagging and photos do NOTHING. I'm sorry to upset the masses but it's true. Taking 2 seconds out of your day to repost a photo of Trayvon in between posting photos of Love and Hip Hop memes, is doing what? Please let me know. I don't knock anyone who would like to show support in anyway, but if you honestly think you're making a real difference in the case or the other injustices of black people, then I'm sorry my friend you're sadly mistaken. I feel like the modern day black community has taken a "good enough" approach to life and to their civil rights. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr's work was not complete when he left this earth. When he left is when everyone realized that you have to literally DIE for what you believe in. No one is as passionate as Martin and Malcolm and other leaders because they are afraid of the backlash. We ridicule Al and Jesse, saying they take everything too seriously, they need to lighten up. They don't have the support of our community. Clearly, CLEARLY we still have a long way to go. The fight did not end when Martin's life did. 

It seems like black people are okay with the status quo. You shouldn't ask for a raise, because at least you have a job, don't complain about the misogyny of hip-hop because at lease we're still in the industry, don't get so upset over black on black crime, it's all they know in the hood. Why have we taken such a laid back attitude towards our own life and culture. Everything is just good enough for us, we don't want to upset the massa because he's going to hurt us if we speak out. Trayvon did not die in vain, if he woke me up I know he woke up many other Americans; black and white. 

It's really time to wake up and realize that there is still a lot of progress to be made and it starts within ourselves. We have to figure out what it is that we can do as individuals to make a positive change within our community. Understanding ourselves will give us clearer vision on what steps we can take to improve this society. No longer can we sit back and post hashtags claiming to have done all we could. This is not what Dr. King had in mind, the fight is not over. Let's start with loving each other and stop this crab in the bucket & you can never get on my level mentality, that only hurts us. If we don't care about each other, why should they care? 

Don't let Trayvon's death be another trend, let it be a lesson. 

-Namasté