Monday, August 12, 2013

The Time Is Now

After my spring semester of college I decided to take a year off, which is crazy to me and other people because I've already dropped out of college twice and it's taking me years to get just my associates degree for the 3rd time around. I needed MORE time to figure it out. Seriously I feel like I'm going in circles every time I step into a school. Once I start my program of study I think "is this really what I want to do with my life? Is this really what I want to major in?". I can't seem to figure it out, it all seems like a waste to me. But then again, when I'm not in school I feel a sense of freedom yet a sense of urgency to figure out what I'm going to do with my life if school isn't going to be involved.

So that's why I took this semester off to decide once and for all if I'm going to finish my degree or not. If I decide to go back it has to be my own decision and I can't let anyone's opinions influence me. If I decide to drop out, I need to have a clear plan of how I'm going to make a living and reach my goals without a degree. Spring semester starts in January so I have to buckle down on my soul searching and praying. Whichever I choose, I NEED to be passionate about my plan. I cannot go into any major life decision half-assed. This is it. 

The time is now for me to decide, I've wandered around long enough without a plan or direction. It's about time I get one. Before I would place so much pressure on my age, I had to have this by the age of 26 and this by the age of 27, now it's less on age and more on a feeling. I FEEL like I'm ready to commit to something, even though at this present moment I'm not sure what that commitment entails. I just know that I'm ready to take control of my life, help myself to a better way of living. Instead of just talking about it I want to live my life on purpose. 

January is right around the corner and I'm not going to pressure myself to hurry my decision up but I'm going to pray and listen, then the answer will come to me. I have to give up some control in order to gain control. 

-Namaste
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2 comments:

  1. AnonymousOctober 15, 2013 at 1:58 AM

    I feel you. I've had the same struggle for years now and felt like I was wasting time and money if I was in school but not really wanting to be there. I personally think it's better, at least in retrospect, that it happened that way, because then it would be me getting degree after degree, just because I wasn't satisfied with whatever I started off with. I know a lot of people who did it the "right" way, but aren't even working in their fields. So different strokes for different folks. You just have to do what works for you. I'm finally at a place where I'm serious about school and really focused on graduating, but it definitely took a few curves and loops to get to this place. Don't be discouraged! Like you said, just take the time to listen and soon everything will make sense.

    So glad you're back!!!

    Chymere Anais
    www.chymere-anais.blogspot.com

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    1. Laneé October 30, 2013 at 9:29 PM

      Same here, while taking a break from school I had to tell people (friends, family, peers) to back off and let me make up my own mind. Being influenced by what other people think is best for you can really set you back. I'm 90% sure now that I want to go back to school for my own personal reasons (writing blog on it lol) but I'm going to sit out one more semester so I will be of sound judgement. A lot is going on right now in my life and I don't really know up from down right now. And you're right, majority of the people I know that graduated college are working in a field other than what they majored in. Or the work a job that doesn't require a degree. This day in age it's more of a who you know, not so much of a what you know. So you just have to choose what works best for you.

      Thanks for still reading after my many breaks, I'm slowly getting back into it :-)

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