I Haven't Had A Breakdown...Yet.

It's approaching a month since I was laid off from my dreaded job, and I still don't have any new job prospects. I'm also 1 month away from moving out of my apartment into a new more expensive apartment alone, with no job and no income coming in to pay the rent. Life sort of just smacked me in the face really hard but I never felt the sting. Moving wasn't my decision, it was sprung on me about a month before my job went kaput. My roommate and her fiance have to move to Florida due to a job promotion. That was all well and fine, it was time for us to separate anyways since I started to crave my own space again. So here I am getting exactly what I wanted in the worst way and I'm not afraid, worried or stressed.

Oh, and did I mention my roommate is getting married in a month and I'm supposed to be planning the bachelorette party which I have yet to start planning? Not that I'm not excited for her but it's the last thing on my mind right now. Living with a stressed out bride when you have your own shit going on is no fun.

I never get stressed about being homeless or lack of money because I know money will always arrive, someway somehow. Normally, what I would stress out and cry about is having a setback. Another setback, 2 steps forward and 1 step back seems to be my life. For some reason this time, I don't see it as a setback but a step forward. Everything that's happening is exactly what I need. God is separating me from the people and environments that I need to get away from. All the things that were holding me back are disappearing from my life.

I hated my job, not only was the pay trash but the work environment was much like high school; middle school in fact. A lot of gossip and drama, I was afraid to be myself in fear of being attacked and talked about. I was never relaxed and constantly on edge. I begged and prayed to get out of there, and God took me out.

My living situation is good for as good as having a roommate can be. No major complaints, but I am better by myself I've come to learn over the past year and a half. When I live by myself I am productive, healthy and active. I have a serious lazy bone within me so having a roommate brings out the worst in me. I have someone around to be lazy and just hangout with. I don't feel the need to go out and socialize much because I have entertainment at home. My eating habits switched to hers and so did my drinking; not that there's anything wrong with it, but when you're by yourself you're more conscious of what you're doing and eating. Plus, drinking alone is no fun so it rarely happens. I'm just a better me all around when I live alone, my only distraction is myself.

So here I am in the middle of a big scary change and I'm okay with it. It's all about listening to God/the universe/whatever you want to call him, and really being quiet so you can hear what he's telling you. If I spent time complaining and being upset over all of this happening I wouldn't understand what was going on. It would be "why, why, why" instead of "thank you, thank you, thank you", my perception would be skewed. I am fully aware of why this is happening, because it needed to happen. Yeah the timing wasn't right for me, but God feels otherwise and said it had to happen NOW. I haven't had a breakdown...yet, and I don't plan on having one either. I plan on getting a new job soon, the right job and having a smooth transition into my new place and a smooth transition into the next phase of my life. I'm super excited!

P.S. Once I am all settled and in order a lot of upgrades and better content will be featured on this blog. I want to be a part time professional blogger. I've been doing this for too long to be half-assing it like this.

Cheers to major life changes!

-Namaste