Do You Search For Meaning In Your Dreams?

I am huge believer in dream interpretations; I believe that what you dream about at night is a reflection of your life and your emotional state of mind. I remember most of my dreams for at least few hours to a day, but it's very rare that I ever feel the need to look for the interpretation of said dream. When I wake up, it's usually very clear to me why I had that dream, normally it's a direct mirror of whats going on in my life. I'm not usually being chased down the street by a giant meatball strumming a banjo. Just doesn't happen for me.

Well last night my dream meant something and I knew it as soon as I woke up. Stairs and Snakes. As soon as I opened my eyes I thought to myself, "that wasn't for nothing". So I looked it up. In my dream from what I remember, the only important details I held onto were: I was walking up the stairs of a patio leading to a front door (I don't know whose house) and there was a lady in the window telling me to come in and I trusted her. So I began walking up the blue stairs and when I looked down there were snakes everywhere all around my feet but I wasn't afraid; a little grossed out but not afraid. I shooed some of the snakes away from slithering on my feet. I kept trying to get to the front door but the snakes were bothering me so much that I stopped trying and left.

Breakdown of the major symbolism in my dream:

STAIRS:

"To dream that you are walking up a flight of stairs indicate that you are achieving a higher level of understanding. You are making progress into your spiritual, emotional or material journey. The dream is also analogous to material and thoughts that are coming to the surface."
"Stairs represent transition, change and personal growth.  When we use them, we make direct contact with our feet.  This makes them symbolic of change on a very specific, personal level.  Climbing up stairs should be interpreted as ascending to higher levels of consciousness.""Going up stairs often represents improvement, achievement, or reaching higher levels of awareness and understanding. You are making progress emotionally, spiritually, or materially. If you have problems going up stairs it may symbolize trouble being unable to make progress in your life. Going up stairs may also symbolize a struggle or challenge you must endure to reach a higher level of understanding, success, or power."

SNAKES:

"When the presence of the snake in your dream is neutral or friendly, it suggests that you are dealing with fears or concerns with assurance. It is an indicator that healing is taking place.....When interpreting a snake dream, a key point is to keep in mind that the serpent in your sleep means you’re symbolically receiving a wake up call from your unconscious. Dreaming about a snake is usually an indicator that you need to pay attention to something important that you perhaps have been avoiding or that has escaped your awareness until now.""When a snake appears in your dreams, it most likely acts as an animal spirit guide inviting you to look at important facts or dynamics that are impacting your life....The snake can symbolize spiritual guidance. The presence of the snake in your life often means that you are in a period of transition and it points to ways promote your personal growth.""According to Condron, snakes in a dream indicate that the dreamer's attention during the previous day was involved in some creative pursuit. "This was the focus of the potential learning in the dreamer's waking life," she says."

THE COLOR BLUE:

"Blue tends to mean truth, heaven, tranquility, peace, intuition...Blue may also be associated with the fifth, throat chakra.  This chakra is associated with communication, self-expression, thinking and planning." 

WINDOW:

"To see a window in your dream signifies bright hopes, vast  possibilities and insight."


Okay, now that we have the symbols interpreted, let me tell you why I'm now even more of a believer of dream interpretation! If you read the 3rd interpretation of Snakes you see that it says, "snakes in a dream indicate that the dreamer's attention during the previous day was involved in some creative pursuit". And it was. And still is. Since I've been laid off from my job I've just been thinking about where I'm going with my life in terms of career and family. It's just time for me to really buckle down and commit to my life.

I keep going back and forth about school because I'm not committed to any major that I choose. And that's because I'm not passionate about my choices. So I've been taking the time to ask God to just guide me and tell me what to do, and then while having a Netflix movie marathon by myself, BOOM it came to me. Out of thin air, BAM there you go Laneé! This is what you're supposed to be doing. And of course, I wouldn't be me if I didn't question God back with "well how do I know if it's really what I'm supposed to be doing or if it's just me coming up with ideas to figure something out, how do I know it's you. Give me a sign!" And last night I had this dream and I woke up and I knew, it all seemed so simple and easy. I stopped questioning it. Only this one thing made since.

Notice, all the symbolization in the dream is connected to one major theme: Spiritual growth, healing, fear, transition, Spiritual guidance, truth, heaven, possibility, progress.

I feel like this dream was God giving me the sign that I asked Him for. I knew that it had a deeper meaning then just random creepiness of snakes on steps. In a previous post I wrote "don't ask God to guide your footsteps if you aren't willing to move your feet." Well according to interpretation the snake symbolizes spiritual guidance, and God is my spiritual guide, so for Him to be around my feet as I'm trying to walk in the dream speak volumes! *Enter Praise Dance Break* The window means hopes and possibilities, the woman in the window was inviting me in! Yes Lawd!

Each day I'm definitely reaching a higher understanding of myself and God. I'm becoming more secure in who I am and less afraid of the world. Well, I was never too much afraid of the world, just the people in it. I know what this dream means, and now I just have to follow through and trust that it's the right decision. The more I question God, the more unsure I'll become. It's time to step out on faith and literally believe in my dreams.

-Namaste

I Haven't Had A Breakdown...Yet.

It's approaching a month since I was laid off from my dreaded job, and I still don't have any new job prospects. I'm also 1 month away from moving out of my apartment into a new more expensive apartment alone, with no job and no income coming in to pay the rent. Life sort of just smacked me in the face really hard but I never felt the sting. Moving wasn't my decision, it was sprung on me about a month before my job went kaput. My roommate and her fiance have to move to Florida due to a job promotion. That was all well and fine, it was time for us to separate anyways since I started to crave my own space again. So here I am getting exactly what I wanted in the worst way and I'm not afraid, worried or stressed.

Oh, and did I mention my roommate is getting married in a month and I'm supposed to be planning the bachelorette party which I have yet to start planning? Not that I'm not excited for her but it's the last thing on my mind right now. Living with a stressed out bride when you have your own shit going on is no fun.

I never get stressed about being homeless or lack of money because I know money will always arrive, someway somehow. Normally, what I would stress out and cry about is having a setback. Another setback, 2 steps forward and 1 step back seems to be my life. For some reason this time, I don't see it as a setback but a step forward. Everything that's happening is exactly what I need. God is separating me from the people and environments that I need to get away from. All the things that were holding me back are disappearing from my life.

I hated my job, not only was the pay trash but the work environment was much like high school; middle school in fact. A lot of gossip and drama, I was afraid to be myself in fear of being attacked and talked about. I was never relaxed and constantly on edge. I begged and prayed to get out of there, and God took me out.

My living situation is good for as good as having a roommate can be. No major complaints, but I am better by myself I've come to learn over the past year and a half. When I live by myself I am productive, healthy and active. I have a serious lazy bone within me so having a roommate brings out the worst in me. I have someone around to be lazy and just hangout with. I don't feel the need to go out and socialize much because I have entertainment at home. My eating habits switched to hers and so did my drinking; not that there's anything wrong with it, but when you're by yourself you're more conscious of what you're doing and eating. Plus, drinking alone is no fun so it rarely happens. I'm just a better me all around when I live alone, my only distraction is myself.

So here I am in the middle of a big scary change and I'm okay with it. It's all about listening to God/the universe/whatever you want to call him, and really being quiet so you can hear what he's telling you. If I spent time complaining and being upset over all of this happening I wouldn't understand what was going on. It would be "why, why, why" instead of "thank you, thank you, thank you", my perception would be skewed. I am fully aware of why this is happening, because it needed to happen. Yeah the timing wasn't right for me, but God feels otherwise and said it had to happen NOW. I haven't had a breakdown...yet, and I don't plan on having one either. I plan on getting a new job soon, the right job and having a smooth transition into my new place and a smooth transition into the next phase of my life. I'm super excited!

P.S. Once I am all settled and in order a lot of upgrades and better content will be featured on this blog. I want to be a part time professional blogger. I've been doing this for too long to be half-assing it like this.

Cheers to major life changes!

-Namaste

The Time Is Now

Timing is NOT everything. I don't know who came up with that and why I believed it for so long. Yes, I understand the concept that everything happens in it's own time. But waiting for the perfect time is a belief that many of us hold onto, and as a result it hinders our growth. "Good things come to those who wait", remember that one? NO, good things come to everybody...it's just life. But good things that we want and desire come to those who go after their dreams and work their butts off.

Let me tell you a little something about myself. I'm a waiter. I read a quote today that said, "If you wait for inspiration to write, you're not a writer, you're a waiter" - Dan Poynter. This quote sat with me all day long and I kept thinking; not only with my writing but also in other areas of my life- I wait. Well, when I get a new job I'll dress up for work. When I move in 6 months I'll decorate my room. I'll start writing my book once the semester is over. When the semester is over I'll focus more on my fitness. It's always something. I'm always waiting for the perfect time to do what I can be doing right now. There is no such thing as perfect timing. God is not going to come down before you and say "TODAY IS THE DAY". Everyday is THE day, that's why he woke you up this morning. He woke us up so that we can work diligently on our gifts.

In order to overcome laziness or fear, whichever stronghold that's stopping you from progressing, you need to figure out what works for you and change your thinking. The reward system doesn't work for me, a new dress for getting up early every day. Or the opposite; the punishment system, taking away something for not following through. Certain days (okay everyday) I will get up and drag my feet because I don't want to go to work, my job is not my career so I have to pep talk myself in the mornings. I quickly realize I can't quit otherwise I'd be homeless so I suck it up and hop in the shower. Lately, I've had many reminders whether through Instagram quotes or just by being in the right circles; that everyday is a gift and we are given each day to use our gifts. I only work 8 hours a day, I have at LEAST 9-10 hours left (I have to sleep) to work on my gifts.

THAT is what's working for me. I know that God didn't put me on this earth to just sit around and wait for something good to land in my lap. When I was younger I didn't have a clue of what I wanted to do with my life so I just wanted to marry rich. Seriously. I would pray that I would meet a rich man to take care of me so I didn't have worry about figuring out my purpose. I'm 26 and single...I think I need to figure it out. Understanding now that I'm not an accident and we are not here to just simply exists, that's my motivation. This dream, gift, purpose God placed within me is not an accident so I need to stop questioning it. My doubt leads to laziness. It's all about trusting Him and my purpose, that's where I am right now in my life. TRUSTING.

*The calender above is my schedule/tasks for everything. I need to see it right in front of me every morning so that I can hold myself accountable. Looking at what I need to do everyday reminds me to continue on this journey with FAITH and TRUST. It's not going to hurt me, only good will come from dedication and hard work.

-Namaste

Get Up!!

There has been sporadic/lack of posting on here because I'm falling behind in school. I'm behind in school because I've been stressed out over things I shouldn't be stressing about. Last night I had a mini breakdown because of one small thing is tangled into other areas of my life. It's one of those things where someone's choices are effecting you in a negative way, so let's just say I've been bothered. Well during my mini breakdown I was praying to God and I was so frustrated and tired, my mind has been all over the place; and I just can't seem to get it together lately in regards to my schoolwork. I thought well maybe I'll just take a break this semester since I'm so far behind already, I rather just receive a withdraw instead of a bad grade. So I got up, turned my laptop on, ready to withdraw and I saw a bulletin on the school's website that read "last day to withdraw with a 'W' 01/28/13". I thought Oh shoot that's today!!! Oh shoot that ends in 2 minutes!! I was rushing and typing in passwords with the quickness, as soon as I got to the page it turned 12 AM 01/29/2013 and the option was no longer there. I just had to laugh because God is too funny for his own good. Really God?

A voice, my subconcious, God...SOMEONE in my head was saying "you got this, quitting is the easy way out, you can do anything you want, you don't want to take a semester off...focus, get back on track and beast this thing!!" So I'm going to beast it. I'm behind on some things but I can turn them in for a late grade, even if it's a crappy grade that means I just have to get straight A's on the new assignments. I got this!!! I just needed to break down a little to realize that I'm capable of achieving great things. I'm tired of just being good enough and 2nd best, it's time to be number one and it's time to be respected and recognized for my efforts. No more coasting through life.

I woke up today (1/29/2013) at 5:30 AM, the time that I've been trying to achieve for YEARS!!  I woke up and went to Kroger and then I headed over to the gym. I achieved 2 things before the sun even came up, I felt so good and happy. Everything felt right. At work I was praised for coming into work early 2 days in a row,  I was praised for working hard to meet upcoming deadlines, one person said I was a new woman. My lifestyle is changing and people can see that, they like this new me, I love this new me. Now I just need to do my homework, my life can't come together when one piece is falling apart. It all works together, I am one unit. Of course I'm going to have slip ups and hard times, I'm human but all that matters is that I get back up QUICKLY and keep it moving. I'm working on finding a balance, this busy thing is new to me so it's going to take some time adjusting but I will get there.

Fall down seven times, get up eight! 

God Is That You?!?

Patience is a virtue they say, be patient, just wait and the answer will come to you, wait on GOD. Hello God are you there? I used to jump as soon as I felt the urge to move, I never waited on God to give me answers for anything. If I was unhappy with a boyfriend I dumped him...that day, if I didn't like school I dropped out...within hours, if I didn't like my location I moved..asap. As I've gotten older I have learned to wait, wait, wait on the Lord. Sometimes I don't know where he is though. Of course you have those moments where He shows up right away and gives you the answers you don't want to hear and there are other times where either; He doesn't seem to be showing up or you can't tell if it's Him or the devil talking.

Those are the times that confuse me the most. How can the answer be so clear one day then the next day you don't know who the heck you're listening to? That's something I'm trying to figure out right now. I have a lot of questions and problems that I need to solve but I don't know what to do. Advice from a friend is always nice but you always need a higher power to assess the situation first before making any major decisions.

Writing is definitely my therapy because sometimes I ask questions in these post and as I'm writing the answers come to me. I would say it was God that spoke to me just now and said that 'If you're confused about who is talking to you then you need to wait a little longer until you're sure of the voice'. There should be no confusion when talking and hearing from God, if you are confused then it's either not God or it's not time to act. When it comes to matters of the heart patience really is key; in almost every aspect of life you have to wait and make sure you're ready before you leap. Your heart needs to be still and your mind needs to be clear.

God's Plan For Me Used to Suck

When I was a little girl I wanted to be a singer, then I wanted to be an actress, then I wanted to be a model (still do, what women doesn't want pictures taken of herself all the time?). I took cosmetology in high school, photography in college the 1st time, I took psychology in college the 2nd time, I'm a certified personal trainer and now I'm in college for a 3rd time studying broadcast journalism. What the f--k is going on? That is the question everyone asks me when they hear about all the things I have dabbled in and I'm probably forgetting some. Just call my mom if you want to know more she loves to bring it up and I'm sure she has a list somewhere.

"Not all those who wander are lost." I was not lost and trying to find myself you assholes who just thought that. I was simply exploring my options, how could I know what I wanted to be if I didn't test out every single thing I thought I wanted? That was my logic, my logic that cost me and my family thousands of dollars. If my child decided to do the same thing as me I wouldn't stop them. Some people are born and from the moment they can think, they just know. They know what the want to do for the rest of their lives. It's their passion and they stick to that passion. Me, I didn't know. I just found out last year. Everything I think I wanted to do I tried it and I don't regret it.

Every career I had in mind just didn't feel right once I started and I would try to trick my brain into liking it because that's what I wanted to do. In the back of my mind I heard a little voice telling me what to do and I constantly ignored it. It was God whispering and getting on my nerves all the time trying to guide my life. How dare he try to control my life! Hey God, your plan sucks! That plan is hard, it's going to take more time than I have, I'm going to have to work harder than all the other women competing for the same job because I'm a black woman, did you forget that God? Just leave me alone and let me be a personal trainer, thank yooouuuu! 

I became a trainer and I hated it, I tried and tried and tried to like it. When everyone asked me why I stopped training I said because there was no money in it. No that's not true, I just hated that damn job. I loved seeing the results and progression of my clients, that was about it. It was something I was good at that I hated to do. There are no regrets though because I learned so much from going to that school, I now know all the bones & muscles in my body, all about calories, how to properly work out and achieve maximum results and I'm not the girl who's afraid to hit the weight room with the men. I realized I loved to work out! That's all, I didn't want to train I just wanted to workout I guess.

Again that annoying voice popped up like a gnat in my ear. I wish he would just go away and let me think for a little bit. He never went away, I just kept ignoring him because he wasn't telling me what I wanted to hear. Then one day I was said okay God just lay it on me, the whole plan. He only gave me a piece. When I started working on that piece then he gave me another, then when I put that in motion he gave me another. God is slowly building the edges to my puzzle now, once the edges are connected the middle pieces will be easier and my puzzle will be completed and then I'll be able to see the whole picture.

Gods plan for me used to suck because it wasn't his plan at all. It was my plan. My plan for my life sucked, what did I know? People on the outside can figure out whats going on before the people on the inside do. God is on the outside and you don't know shit. Is it wrong to write God and shit in the same sentence even though I thought it and even though I cursed early in this post? Hhmmm, I'll let you guys judge me instead of him. Anyways, If you are working at your dream job and something is missing, that something is probably your heart and even though it probably is your dream job, it's just not the job you're supposed to have. If you follow the dream God puts in your heart you will flourish, you just have to listen and accept it. Even if you think it sucks.

One Tough Cookie

                                              

There comes a time when you have to realize your flaws, when you recognize them as yours you have decide...do I want to accept this as is? Or do I want to change? Let's not even call them flaws, lets call them hmmm, things that hold us back from getting what we want. Shortcomings! That's the word I was looking for. The other day while talking to one of my good guy friends I had an epiphany. I was reading him passages out of my book "The Path to Love", and it was saying how women and men need the opposite of who they are in order to feel like a whole person. (Some good stuff, I highly recommend you read it.) My friend says to me:" yeah, and you're just hard but you really aren't that way, a guy wants his woman to be gentle and sweet. Which you are but you don't show that side of you."

I was slightly offended and got up in went to the bathroom, while I was in there I was thinking about other things the book said and about what my girlfriend said about me not having a soft side. They were right, I am closed off and hard. No man in my recent years has been able to crack my shell, no matter how much I liked them I couldn't let down my guard. Ah ha! I ran out the bathroom exicited then quickly refrained. I thought about not sharing my epiphany with my friend and slowed my stride, that wall was going back up fast! I sat down and said "well duh, I'm hard because it's a defense mechanism, I'm not in the mood to get hurt." He was quiet, I never talk to him about my feelings...our friendship is very much on the surface. "Well you need to open up more" he replied. "Well so do you, you never talk about your feelings." Did I mention my friend is someone I used to date? This was the first conversation we had about our feelings, and it came a year after we stopped dating.

I expressed to him that I'm in not looking for love, I'm a happy single woman; which many find hard to believe but I am. I'm not that girl who is out there feeling the pressure of her age to find a mate to marry and settle down with. I'm not rushing anything. If I meet someone I like I'm not going to turn him away, would I like to meet someone to share my life with? Yes, but it's not a make or break for me.

My issue is when I run across a guy I really really like, I shut down, but I can be very open with the guys I don't like. I will tell them about issues in my childhood, fears and desires. It's easy to open up to them because there's no pressure involved, I know they will be my friend and they won't break my heart. In the book Deepak explains how one must accept every form of love given to them because it's a blessing from God and what you accept you will have more of, That is true also for the negatives as well, if you accept abuse you open your life to more of it. I gasped while reading because I thought back to all the times I was dating someone I truly had feelings for and I remembered the times I shut down the love they were giving me. Even accepting hugs and kisses at times. Even accepting forms of love from friends sometimes is tough for me, I tense up like I saw a ghost.

It was like my love life was flashing before my eyes. There were many times where I was soft and gentle but at pivotal moments I can tend to clam up if I get uncomfortable. I don't want to be that way anymore so I am more aware of myself and my actions/reactions. I've been told by many people that I am strong, strong, strong, that's all I hear. Of course there are certain moments in life where you have to be strong and keep your guard up; but his year is about letting it down...just a little, haha, and accepting all the love God is placing in my life.

It's okay for this cookie to crumble, I can't always be so tough.