I'm No Stupid...Anymore

There comes a time in every girls life and I mean EVERY girls life where she dates someone who is completely wrong for her. Wrong in the sense that he's an asshole and she will continue to date him praying that one day the relationship will be what she wants. She dates him because he did or said something in the beginning that gave her promise of a bright future with him. She ignored all the red flags and fell in love aka hysterical blindness. Sometimes it's not love at all and when she looks back after it's over and the wounds are healed, she laughs, she laughs hard. She puts her hands over her face, throws her head back and cracks up with laughter because she wonders "WHY DID I EVEN LIKE HIM? HE WAS SO LAME!"

There is not a woman who skated through life and dodged this guy. We've all been there and if you haven't been there yet you probably will even with all the advice you read or friends telling you how to avoid the douche bag. The thing is, he isn't even a douche bag. He is a man who treated you how you let him. Of course it would be nice if men didn't treat us like shit because we let them. If they said hey, I'm just going to lead her on and torture her emotions for months/ years, that's not nice let me stop this now; oh what a beautiful world that would be. That's not the case though, we find someone who we really like and they promise us the world and we take their word for it. WORDS MEAN NOTHING when your actions don't line up.

A guy I used to date who I still talk to from time to time was arguing with me about our past relationship. I thought he was amazing and I thought we were going to be something and I thought one day he would change and I thought it was all going to be better. I thought, I thought, I thought WRONG. It took me a while to fully get over him and the possibility of an us, and when I finally did get over it everything came to light. I realized I didn't really like him, I liked the idea of him. I told him that he was one of the worst men I have ever dated because: he was lazy, an asshole, combative, insensitive, childish, rude. We were arguing because he wanted to step back into my life and "things will be different this time". No, no, no! I'm not stupid anymore. I can't even be mad at him, I allowed him to be all those negative things and I put up with it instead of stepping out immediately. I'm don't want to wait and see if things will be better, while he was playing games I was learning the most important lesson  every woman needs to learn, my worth.

We all want to be treated like a queen and with respect from whoever we're dating, but when we learn that we deserve the best and nothing less, we'll never settle again. I deserve somebody who gives a shit, we all do. You know if you're being treated the way you deserve in a relationship, you don't need a list or a book to tell you. You already know. If you need to read a book to see if your man is treating you right, then he's not. If you're unhappy, your needs aren't getting met, he's not adding value to your life, then it's not right. Plain and simple. With every douche I dated I knew it wasn't right, I just didn't realize my worth yet so I settled. Have I dated an asshole since the one mentioned in this post? (over a year ago) NOPE! When you realize you're worth and you truly believe that you deserve the best, I promise you won't settle. You'll love yourself too much to do so.

Value yourself and know your worth!