A Woman's Journey (my perspective)

I believe the most important part of a woman's life is the moment when she begins to fall in love with herself. No matter how many people told you that you were attractive or even if you were the most popular girl in school just off looks alone; when you're a young girl you're terribly insecure. You're deathly afraid of you're own image. The pressure to be beautiful kicks in because you're growing up knowing that one day you will have to compete for a husband. In order to make it through life as a halfway decent woman you'll need to someone to love you and to want to take care of you. That right there will turn to a innocent child into a terrified confused teenager. Then by the time we are all wanting to die because we can't figure out how to look like the next girl, we go through a phase. Some will chase men and sleep around, some will shy away from boys completely, some will involve themselves with the wrong men, while others find comfort in a long term boyfriends and will be terrified to be alone. We will all place ourselves somewhere we don't really want to be, and we think the next girl has it good when in reality all of us are messed up.

After the terrible teen years pass we become little women between the ages 20-25 and the pressure is on to find a mate to make our happy home with. You know, the one with the white picket fence. Our deepest prayers are that the next guy is the last guy, that we could end the game of "he's not the one". We've all heard the rumor that our stock begins to plummet at 25 and no one wants to have kids with a woman over 30....so this is it. We must find him in the next few years or we will fail the life's work of a woman. Every man we meet becomes a target, we look him in the eyes and our minds wonder what our life would be like together before we even find out his name. Some of us find him and will be scratched from single woman existence and disappear into a different world. Then there are some of us who would do anything for a husband and will pick the first bidder. Trying to turn every man we meet into the one and subscribe to Bride magazine while we're still single.There are some girls who replace love with partying and/or careers, occupying the time until Mr. Right arrives; praying that we can find fulfillment without a ring. These years are the worst for all the girls because we want the life on the other side, we think the grass greener no matter whose yard we're standing in. We try new looks, personalities and friends; we can't seem to hold onto anything. These years are dark and scary, nothing makes sense.

Soon after that you began to look back and study yourself from the outside, reminiscing of the girl you used to be. You stop being mad at her for doing certain things because you realize she was just a kid. In those moments she only got to see one side of every problem she faced; which didn't give her a fair advantage of how to win each battle. You see now that she reacted that way because that's all she knew how to do in that moment. You feel sorry for all the bad things she went through so you nurture her wounds and begin to love her. You forgive her for not appreciating her beauty back then, she didn't realize she was one of a kind. She will love her body as a woman because you love her so much you decided to take care of it for her. You let her heal and you let her grow. You tell her to stop being afraid because you've already gotten so far and it's just going to get better. The mistakes she made back then are no longer mistakes, they are lessons. You no longer look for love in the wrong places and you no longer have to run from it either, because you found the love within yourself. You realize that you are enough. This is the best part of becoming a woman, the moment you realize when it's happening.

Ladies, You Have a Brain So Use It!

We all know that sex sells, it doesn't really but we still like to pretend. We don't need a sexy woman to sell us plumbing solutions, toilet paper or cookies...but companies still work sex into these ads anyways. As you know I work in an office full of men and most days I wind up listening to them talk about women...objectifying them. Of course boys will be boys, they like me to call them men and I told them when I see a man, I will call him as such. They can go on for days talking about a woman that walks by in the hall, or a woman on TV, other female coworkers, any woman they sniff out they will talk about. Good or bad, it bothers me when a man picks a woman apart and talks about what he would do to her and how she probably likes to have sex. It urks me!

The other day we had a rep come into the office to do a presentation and bring the office lunch. She was a very attractive woman probably in her early 30's, nice professional pencil skirt, cardigan and kept it stylish with the spiked pumps. She seemed modest and nice. When the presentation was over she went to a few offices to show my coworkers how to use the program she was selling. After that she was gone. The next day the boys are in the hall talking about her and giggling like school children. I turn down my radio to listen, which I didn't even have to because they grew louder so everyone could hear. Apparently. when she went into one of my managers office she leaned over to look his computer, claimed she was hot and unbuttoned her cardigan so her cleavage could show. You know, like how the sexy temptress does it in the movies.

When I heard this I almost fell out of my chair. The boys went on and on about how she knew how to "sell" the product, how they are going to use her and to get rid of the other lady we use because she's ugly they'd rather see this woman. They would love to see her boobs every week, it just went on and on. I was annoyed by my male coworkers as I usually am when they objectify women, but I was more annoyed by her objectifying herself. WHY ON EARTH would you do that to yourself?! You came to do your job and to show people you are the best at what you do, but instead of doing that you took your fuckin shirt off and now you're a joke. You may have sold them on the deal but they don't take you seriously, they don't respect you and they don't think you're the best! They think that you make their dick hard so now they want to keep you around.

Women, WOMEN, unless you are a stripper, dancer, model or pop star; keep your clothes on. If you work in a field where you have to represent your company and yourself, don't use sex to close deals or to be remembered. It's hard enough as a woman to be respected and taken seriously as a career woman, even though it's 2013 a lot of men still feel like a woman should be at home barefoot and pregnant. Don't make it harder on yourself to grow and advance your career. Looks and sex takes some to the top but for others it keeps them in the same place forever. At the end of the day you still have to be the best at what you do no matter how good you look. People still need to know that you have a brain and you know what you're doing, not just a set of boobs.

It's bad enough men see us as pieces of meat to be devoured, so don't put yourself on their plate and hand them the knife. Keep your top on and use your smarts to turn a man on, if you are sexy and smart you have it all. Don't be lazy and don't be scared, you are capable of making a lasting impression with your mind so there is no need to pull out the big guns (pun intended). The more women that use sex to get ahead the harder it will get for the women who are working hard to be successful in their careers. Don't sell yourself short and don't give them a reason to doubt you; be the best WOMAN you can be. Remember that sexy just doesn't mean showing cleavage or booty, confidence is sexy, intelligence is sexy, humor is sexy;  try those next time you go into a meeting and save your body for your man.