The 4 Year Plan

The other night I laid down to go to sleep and thought about the fact that I'm 26 and just now getting started on making my dreams come true. I have wasted many years doing nothing and a year of that was probably wasting time on the internet. I've been thinking about where I see myself at the age of 30, in 4 blissful years I will be 30. I have a framed picture in my room of me and my friends celebrating my 22nd birthday, I look at it and think about what I have accomplished since then. 4 blissful years went by and my life is exactly the same as it was back then. 4 years wasted, seriously nothing exciting has happened at all so don't think I'm being too hard on myself. I'm just being real. I didn't change careers, I didn't get married, I didn't save thousands of dollars, go on any vacations. Nothing happened because I didn't make anything happen. This is the perfect time to write out my goals for the next four years, I need to look at them every morning, noon and night so I can be sure to stay on track.

By the time I'm 30 I will have accomplished the following: 

1. Received my bachelors degree in communications from Georgia State University.
2. Purchased a home/condo/townhouse.
3. Have my passion project (secret for now) fully started and be working that as my career. (What I need to focus on the most) **MAIN GOAL*
4. Taken 2 vacations minimum out of the country. (between now and 30).
5. Have 10k dollars cash in savings.
6. Have my car paid off.
7. Have hair down to my butt.

Sometimes you can take a wrong turn which will lead you off your path, if you don't look at the map for directions you will end up completely lost. 

Good Music Mondays

FANTASIA- I'M DOIN' ME

In honor of yesterday's post, here's a song about loving yourself and NOT settling for less than you deserve.

"Nothing more beautiful than knowing your worth"

Beasts Of the Southern Wild

I watched this movie last night and I must say never has any movie fucked with my emotions as much as this one did. I literally cried THE ENTIRE FILM!! I'm not exaggerating at all, at one point I had to pause the movie to cry because I was missing what was coming up next. I was a hot mess, I still am just thinking about it. Beasts of the Southern Wild was so beautifully written and directed, the acting was superb on everyone's part I kept forgetting that it was fiction. I was so furious at certain points and sad at others I couldn't stop crying. This is hands down one of my favorite movies of all time. The previews threw me off, definitely not what I thought it was going to be about...they did that on purpose. I highly recommend you watch it immediately!

I hope Quvenzhané Wallis wins the Oscar tonight for best actress, she definitely deserves it. Dwight Henry who played her dad in the film should have been nominated for something as well, he was amazing. 

I'm No Stupid...Anymore

There comes a time in every girls life and I mean EVERY girls life where she dates someone who is completely wrong for her. Wrong in the sense that he's an asshole and she will continue to date him praying that one day the relationship will be what she wants. She dates him because he did or said something in the beginning that gave her promise of a bright future with him. She ignored all the red flags and fell in love aka hysterical blindness. Sometimes it's not love at all and when she looks back after it's over and the wounds are healed, she laughs, she laughs hard. She puts her hands over her face, throws her head back and cracks up with laughter because she wonders "WHY DID I EVEN LIKE HIM? HE WAS SO LAME!"

There is not a woman who skated through life and dodged this guy. We've all been there and if you haven't been there yet you probably will even with all the advice you read or friends telling you how to avoid the douche bag. The thing is, he isn't even a douche bag. He is a man who treated you how you let him. Of course it would be nice if men didn't treat us like shit because we let them. If they said hey, I'm just going to lead her on and torture her emotions for months/ years, that's not nice let me stop this now; oh what a beautiful world that would be. That's not the case though, we find someone who we really like and they promise us the world and we take their word for it. WORDS MEAN NOTHING when your actions don't line up.

A guy I used to date who I still talk to from time to time was arguing with me about our past relationship. I thought he was amazing and I thought we were going to be something and I thought one day he would change and I thought it was all going to be better. I thought, I thought, I thought WRONG. It took me a while to fully get over him and the possibility of an us, and when I finally did get over it everything came to light. I realized I didn't really like him, I liked the idea of him. I told him that he was one of the worst men I have ever dated because: he was lazy, an asshole, combative, insensitive, childish, rude. We were arguing because he wanted to step back into my life and "things will be different this time". No, no, no! I'm not stupid anymore. I can't even be mad at him, I allowed him to be all those negative things and I put up with it instead of stepping out immediately. I'm don't want to wait and see if things will be better, while he was playing games I was learning the most important lesson  every woman needs to learn, my worth.

We all want to be treated like a queen and with respect from whoever we're dating, but when we learn that we deserve the best and nothing less, we'll never settle again. I deserve somebody who gives a shit, we all do. You know if you're being treated the way you deserve in a relationship, you don't need a list or a book to tell you. You already know. If you need to read a book to see if your man is treating you right, then he's not. If you're unhappy, your needs aren't getting met, he's not adding value to your life, then it's not right. Plain and simple. With every douche I dated I knew it wasn't right, I just didn't realize my worth yet so I settled. Have I dated an asshole since the one mentioned in this post? (over a year ago) NOPE! When you realize you're worth and you truly believe that you deserve the best, I promise you won't settle. You'll love yourself too much to do so.

Value yourself and know your worth! 

Hello Stranger! PGC 2013

Ello Stranga! Is what I really said in my head. I like to throw on a British accent from time to time. 

I am shy and awkward in certain social situations. If alcohol isn't involved it takes me a long time to warm up to people and feel comfortable talking to them. I'm not that girl who introduces herself to everyone in the room with a bright smile on her face. I will definitely smile but I just might not speak to you. When I was younger I was ridiculously shy...ridiculously. As an adult I want to be more social,  introduce myself to strangers and make more connections. 

That's something I've been working on lately. No more Mrs. Shy Girl. Another Personal Growth Challenge for me. 

One thing that really brightens my day is when a complete stranger says hello to me. It's so simple yet profound. I can be in a bad mood or even the best mood, but when a stranger passing me by in the isle of the grocery store or in a parking lot shouts "Hello!!! How are you?" I think, I'm great now that you spoke to me!! It warms my heart that someone feels brave enough to speak to someone they don't know and will probably never see again. I've tried the hello a few times and have been ignored...which used to make me feel awkward. Now I just laugh it off; why wouldn't you a LEAST speak back? Asshole. The rejection is going to come but there might be someone like me and a simple hello makes their heart smile. 

A reason I feel so awkward at times is because I hate when people listen to my conversations. Whether I'm on the phone, talking to someone in public, even when customers are in the lobby. My conversation is short when I think someone who's not in the conversation is listening to what I'm saying. I have to break out of my comfort zone and engage fully in conversations no matter what. This will be great skill to develop so I will feel more comfortable while networking and starting out in my career. A way I've decided to practice is talking to cashiers and customer service workers, "How's your day going?" "Ready for the weekend?" "How was your holiday?". Something, anything to break out of my comfort zone. 

A perfect example of a missed connection and possible date 

(well I'm sure he had a girlfriend or date but still): 

I was grocery shopping and I was walking down the isle and BAM! A TALL cute man standing in front of me! I smiled and kept it moving, checking him out in my peripheral every few seconds trying to feel him out. I lost him because of an isle change and found myself looking at pancake mix  a few minutes later when he strolled into my isle and stopped right behind me looking at brownie mix on the other side. I turned a few times to see what he had in his basket, a man doesn't just shop for brownie mix on a Friday evening. His basket had "date" foods in them, I could tell. He was struggling to make a decision before he called someone (his lady friend I presume) for help. Either way I wanted to say something witty to him like "Trouble with the massive brownie selection? I can help, I'm a connoisseur of boxed brownies" He would've smiled and fell in love with me, smashed his phone so he didn't have to hear from Ms. Too Lazy To Get The Brownies Herself anymore, then we would've went out on a date, and married May 2015. Perfect. Missed connection. 

Does your shyness or awkwardness keep you from speaking to strangers OR are you naturally outgoing and bubbly? 

My Target Haul: 'Clearance Rack' is my middle name.

I went to Target for toner and of course I came out with other things I don't need. I think they pump something into the air vents that makes people stay in there just a little bit long than they have to. Honestly, have you ever went into Target for one thing and left as soon as you got it? I don't know anyone who has done that so if you have, kudos to you. 

This is the toner I went in for $4

 Then I wandered around a little more and found this Shea Moisture facial kit. It includes a deep cleansing face scrub, black soap, face mask and a cream moisturizer  All for $12 (original price was $18)...STEAL!!!! 

 If you don't own a Olay ProX cleansing system you need to invest. It's way cheaper than the $200 Clarisonic cleanser and it's the SAME THING for only $20. I was way overdue on replacing the brush, like a year overdue. I'm sure you should replace them every few months or maybe even once a month. But I wash the brush after I use it for my face soooo that's why I never got around to that. *trying to convince yall that I'm not nasty* The replacement head is only $9 for a pack of 2. Seriously if you are just washing your face with your hands or a wash cloth you're NOT getting all the dirt off I promise you! Especially if you wear make up...YOU NEED THIS!! 

 I am a nail polish junkie, I will post my collection one day soon. You know you're a junkie when you get rid of close to 40 bottles and still have over 50 bottles left, then go out and buy more. The OPI polishes are on sale for $6 (originally $9) because the bottles are scratched! Thank you, keep scratching those bottle up. When I go back to wearing nail polish (see why I'm not: here) this will be the first color I wear. 

 Last but not least JEWELRY ! Well costume Jewels! I'm trying to revamp my wardrobe and style on a budget so I always check clearance racks for clothes and jewelry (which I rarely wear) but I'm starting back again. I used to wear jewelry a lot when I was younger so I'm trying to get back to it. 

Black and gold chandelier earrings $3.98, the set of 2 were $1.48, the icicle "diamonds" $3.98 and they are sick!! Love them on and now I need to find a place to wear them. 

All in all I would say I had a successful trip to my favorite store, I bought some things I needed and some cheap things I wanted. I'm saving my money and building wealth so the little things like this get me by. 

Blurbs

I rarely check my mail and when I do I never open it. School has never been my thing, I hate it, I hate it, I hate it!! I'm just in college right now because I know this is something I need to do, my goal this semester was to get straight A's...not happening. Well, I finally opened my mail that I've been collecting on my nightstand for 3 weeks and there was 2 letters from my school asking me to accept my membership into the honors society! Whaaatttt, I've attended 2 colleges before and never been asked to be in anybody's society because I never had the grades. My first year at this current college I did really well, so they wanted me to join. Deadline was February 4th. Of course it was. Now I'm not doing my best so they aren't going to ask me again anytime soon. I couldn't believe it, I was so happy and proud of myself, I achieved something I never thought I could...even though I missed the deadline.

Other than that, I have so many plans for this blog and I know the aesthetics keep changing but the content is still the same. I'm not sure of what I want my blog to actually look like yet, so I keep playing around with it. There are many elements, topics and features I want to add to the blog. Such BIG plans I have tucked away in my idea journal that I need to incorporate onto this lovely little blog of mine. I also wanted to share more personal post and pictures, I need to save up for a real digital camera so I can do that. I hate using my phone. This blog and I are a work in progress, please be patient with me.

Life is GREAT! I have begun to experience a level of happiness that I've never been able to reach before in my life. This is the deep rooted happiness that surrounds your life even when nothing is happening. That's what I'm going through right now. I am falling in love with life.

Tax time! Please oh please do NOT be ignorant with your tax return. If you have goals to save your money or start a business, use your return to invest in your future...not your wardrobe. This year I'm finally getting a decent return and it's going straight into my savings. I would love some new clothes and gadgets but I can't tell you how many times large sums of money have come into my possession and I blew it all. I can't even tell you what I spent it all on, but it's gone. If you take care of your money and are smart with it, you will get more of it. Respect your refund check!

I'm really saving my refund because I'm moving in a few months. I feel like I'm always moving or I'm never settled anywhere. That might just be part of growing up and being on your own, finding a place that feels like home. When I moved last July, I moved in with a roommate...horrible idea. I don't dislike my roommate, I just dislike having a roommate. I love, love, love living on my own. I love only having people in the house if I want them there and if I invited them over. I love being alone in my thoughts and in my projects. My roommate is away for the weekend and I remember how much I enjoy solitude. I get a lot more accomplished on my own and my focus is intensified. When I get married I'm sure I will love having my husband as a roommate but for now, just me and my dog will suffice.

GET BACK ON TRACK!!!! It's a month and a half into 2013 and we all have goals of how this year is going to be our year. We started on those goals and got off track with some of them, it's okay just hop back on the track. Start from where you are, take the time to figure out what you need to do, adjust the straps and get going! I fell off on the saving money, so today I paid bills and reset my budget on mint.com. Remember to stay on top of your finances you need to be checking your accounts at least once a week. I like to check mine every other day. I also fell off with my school work, I'm just not in the mood this semester. I have no choice but to get on track with that so I adjusted my schedule so I can spend 3 hours a day on my homework.

Whatever it is you need to do to be where you want to be, just get to it! Distractions are going to pop up and throw you off track, you just have to fix the problem before it grows. Enjoy life and face your fears, save money and watch your possibilities grow. Be the best you, you can be!

Ladies, You Have a Brain So Use It!

We all know that sex sells, it doesn't really but we still like to pretend. We don't need a sexy woman to sell us plumbing solutions, toilet paper or cookies...but companies still work sex into these ads anyways. As you know I work in an office full of men and most days I wind up listening to them talk about women...objectifying them. Of course boys will be boys, they like me to call them men and I told them when I see a man, I will call him as such. They can go on for days talking about a woman that walks by in the hall, or a woman on TV, other female coworkers, any woman they sniff out they will talk about. Good or bad, it bothers me when a man picks a woman apart and talks about what he would do to her and how she probably likes to have sex. It urks me!

The other day we had a rep come into the office to do a presentation and bring the office lunch. She was a very attractive woman probably in her early 30's, nice professional pencil skirt, cardigan and kept it stylish with the spiked pumps. She seemed modest and nice. When the presentation was over she went to a few offices to show my coworkers how to use the program she was selling. After that she was gone. The next day the boys are in the hall talking about her and giggling like school children. I turn down my radio to listen, which I didn't even have to because they grew louder so everyone could hear. Apparently. when she went into one of my managers office she leaned over to look his computer, claimed she was hot and unbuttoned her cardigan so her cleavage could show. You know, like how the sexy temptress does it in the movies.

When I heard this I almost fell out of my chair. The boys went on and on about how she knew how to "sell" the product, how they are going to use her and to get rid of the other lady we use because she's ugly they'd rather see this woman. They would love to see her boobs every week, it just went on and on. I was annoyed by my male coworkers as I usually am when they objectify women, but I was more annoyed by her objectifying herself. WHY ON EARTH would you do that to yourself?! You came to do your job and to show people you are the best at what you do, but instead of doing that you took your fuckin shirt off and now you're a joke. You may have sold them on the deal but they don't take you seriously, they don't respect you and they don't think you're the best! They think that you make their dick hard so now they want to keep you around.

Women, WOMEN, unless you are a stripper, dancer, model or pop star; keep your clothes on. If you work in a field where you have to represent your company and yourself, don't use sex to close deals or to be remembered. It's hard enough as a woman to be respected and taken seriously as a career woman, even though it's 2013 a lot of men still feel like a woman should be at home barefoot and pregnant. Don't make it harder on yourself to grow and advance your career. Looks and sex takes some to the top but for others it keeps them in the same place forever. At the end of the day you still have to be the best at what you do no matter how good you look. People still need to know that you have a brain and you know what you're doing, not just a set of boobs.

It's bad enough men see us as pieces of meat to be devoured, so don't put yourself on their plate and hand them the knife. Keep your top on and use your smarts to turn a man on, if you are sexy and smart you have it all. Don't be lazy and don't be scared, you are capable of making a lasting impression with your mind so there is no need to pull out the big guns (pun intended). The more women that use sex to get ahead the harder it will get for the women who are working hard to be successful in their careers. Don't sell yourself short and don't give them a reason to doubt you; be the best WOMAN you can be. Remember that sexy just doesn't mean showing cleavage or booty, confidence is sexy, intelligence is sexy, humor is sexy;  try those next time you go into a meeting and save your body for your man.

HAPPY-GO-LUCKY

While everyone is obsessing over Valentines day I am at home doing homework, hanging out with my dog and his friend (dog sitting) and waiting for Scandal to come on. My dog was extremely sick yesterday so I was feeling really down and I needed a pick me up. What's my pick me up you ask? My pick me up is my favorite movie that I don't own for some odd reason; Happy Go Lucky. This movie instantly changes my spirit I don't know how but it does. Poppy, the lead is ridiculously optimistic and happy the entire film, even when things go wrong she bounces back instantly not letting anything get her down. I love that type of enthusiasm and energy. No other movie has this effect on me, all movies move me in some way but this is the only one that makes me feel really good, happy, joyful...all of that. I highly recommend you watch and enjoy yourself. I paused the movie to write a blog about it so you better watch it!


The driving instructor is a trip!

Long, Strong, Healthy Nails....I Hope!

On my old blog I talked about nail growth and the fact that my nails refuse to grow!! When they do grow, it's very minimal and they break as soon as they get past the nail bed. They are hard and feel strong but tiny nubs as you can see. I don't want to pay for, nor ruin my nail beds by putting acrylic on them...did that for many years. I'm tired of buying $10 nail polish to strengthen my nail when it doesn't make a difference *coughs* OPI "Nail Envy" and Orly "Tough Cookie" *coughs*. They will make your nails hard but my nails still break and barely grow. Nothing is working for me, I've tried everything; I take biotin every night, vitamins  drink milk, water, try to eat healthy, file my nails often...nothing works.

Last year I saw online while buzzing around the "natural web", that if you rub coconut oil on your nail beds and cuticles every night your nails will grow long and strong. I didn't even start this experiment because I wanted to keep my nails painted. Apparently if I did more research I would've seen that you can rub the oil on before your base coat. So I'm going to start tonight, but I'm going to try a month without polish then add polish sometime in March if I begin to see growth. I'm showing you the pictures of my nails last year because they are exactly the same length, my nails almost look identical today which is quite hilarious. So in a few weeks I will post a progress photo, if this doesn't work I don't know what will!