2013 New Year Resolutions

Okay okay, I wasn't going to make resolutions this year because like most people I don't stick to them; but they are just so fun to write! This time around I decided to switch it up and focus on goals that are going to enhance the quality of my life overall and not a quick fix to a temporary problem, i.e. fit into that teenie weenie bikini this summer.

1. Be Fearless...FEAR-LESS...FEAR LESS: The main thing that holds me back from accomplishing my goals is fear, I fear everything. I fear judgement of others, failing, getting hurt, success, being more successful than my friends, losing friends because I became so awesome they feel uncomfortable around me because they can't catch up to my awesomeness! The last one may seem like a joke but I'm serious, I feel guilty if I outshine my friends. If I wasn't so fearful of these things I'm sure that I would be where I wanted to be in life by now. If I'm fear-less in 2013 mountains can be moved and a lot more progress will be made. 
2. Stop Gossiping: I gossip. As much as I hate to admit it, I'm a gossip. I know everyone's business and everyone tells me their business. The thing is, unless you are my close friend or I care about you & respect you...I will probably tell your business to someone else. In the past my gossiping has gotten me in a lot of trouble, so in 2012 I made a conscience decision to stop. Didn't work. I did decrease the gossiping by about 50% though, but I need to bring it to a full stop. I'm not only hurting other people but I'm hurting myself. The hardest part for me will be office gossip, there will always be little bees buzzing around me. I know I'm ready to end it though because when I hear other people gossip or talk bad about someone for no reason, I'm quite disgusted and realizing that's who I am and who I don't want to be anymore.
3. Open Up More & Let The People I Love In: The other day I was playing with my dog being very affectionate and my friend turned to me & said "Aww you do have a soft side". I didn't know that people assumed I don't had a soft side; I mean, I cry at commercials so c'mon. I admit I'm a very closed off private person, I don't express my feelings about much. I show anger & joy, but I bottle up sadness and sometimes love. Serious issues I discuss with God and myself. On my recent visit home I focused on our family dynamic and I realized I'm this way because I come from a home where emotions are not expressed. We keep it light. I don't want to be that way in my adult life, with my good friends and family I want to dig deeper and let them in. I would like to show my softer side and not come off as the strong woman all the time.
4. Be Productive & Consistent: I can keep a steady routine for about 3 days MAX. I'm not just talking about exercising and eating healthy, I can do that for about 4-5 months straight before I break that habit. I'm talking about school, work, health, beauty, fitness, reading, saving money, etc. This is my main resolution, be consistent ..I can't just say I want to do it, I have to work at it. Normally I don't, I just brush it off and say "ehh I'll try again tomorrow". My tomorrows would be a lot better and my future will be a lot brighter if I actually worked at my life. I sort of float on by hoping that my laziness will make me a millionaire. Not going to happen. If I say I'm going to get up at 5am everyday, I need to work at it and TRY to wake up at 5am everyday until it begins to happen naturally. That's the only way I can make it stick. 
5. Pray More & Be More Spiritual: I pray at night when I remember. I go down my prayer list of family and friends, the same routine in the same order every time. I say it so much I do it without thinking, I'm not mentally invested in my prayers anymore. I can sing them to a beat that's how memorized it has become. Occasionally I will throw in a quick prayer if I know someone's going through a hard time but that's as deep as it goes, not much more to it for me. I know that if you pray, mean it, believe it...you will receive it. So why am I not doing that? Is God listening to my prayers if I'm not even listening to them? I want to connect with God and I want to feel Him working in my life. I want to feel a real powerful connection, the connection that I'm afraid of. The one that is going to change my life. 

If I work on those 5 things day in and day out...6 months from now the quality of my life should have improved drastically. I wish everyone a Happy Prosperous New Year!!! 

DO YOU HAVE ANY NEW YEARS RESOLUTIONS OR DO YOU THINK THEY'RE A WASTE OF TIME?