Live In Your Truth

A good friend of mine is what some would call a New Age Hippie, she believes in free love, meditates, says things like "my psychic told me", quotes spiritual philosophies all day long and I love every bit of her. One thing she said before that always pops in my mind is "live in your truth". You can take that saying many ways but the way I take it is; live everyday living in YOUR truth, not what other people tell you or that you hear. It's so easy to get wrapped up in other peoples lives that we began to perceive the world the way they do. This can be good or bad depending on whose life you're wrapped up in. If you are wrapped up in reality shows and the people in your life are trying to replicate scripted reality, then you may have a problem.

When I was younger I wanted to hangout in the popular crowd it seem so cool and interesting, doesn't it always though? When I finally made it inside I began to live how they were living, walking and talking and being popular just.like.them. When I tell you I was bored with my life and I missed my "unpopular" friends, I can't even begin to explain. Even though I was bored, I was in it now and I didn't want to let go, I made it! Slowly I started to change, I liked music that I couldn't stand before, I looked down on those who weren't as fly as me and "pretty" as me, my hobbies faded away, I became a robot. I was absolutely miserable.

Sometimes I would look around at my new friends and wonder if they were miserable just like me. Were they pretending to like what everyone else "loved" too? After a while I realized that the inner circle wasn't all that it was cracked up to be, not a soul was real...unless they were behind closed doors. When the lights were shining and the "group" was together everyone wore a mask that came with a fake smile and shallow conversation. When the lights were dim and it was just me and him/her, a real person with real fears and emotions and individual thoughts appeared before me. How long can one soul fake it's existence before it withers and dies away?

The moment I stepped away from the crowd was the moment my grey turned to yellow. I was alive again. Every time I see pictures of supposed popular people or someones "in crowd" I wonder if they feel as I once did. Don't get me wrong, it can be fun but I think the fun will only last if everyone is living in their own truth. If everyone's minds melt together into a shallow wading pool, then the fun won't last forever. What I love to see is an eclectic group of individuals who don't let their differences divide them. That to me is more intriguing than seeing a group of young men and women who all look exactly alike but afraid to speak their minds because their peers will judge them for going against the grain. I've been there done that and it's a scary place to be.

Now I'm working on living in my own truth, which can be difficult at times especially being the "oreo" that I am. I try not to conform to the pressures of the world; the pressure to be thick, the pressure to have big boobs, the pressure to enjoy trashy reality TV, the pressure to gossip, the pressure to listen to ignorant music that degrades women, the pressure to accept the word nigga because it's spelled with an A not ER. When you speak against what everyone else accepts, prepare to be criticized. Standing in your truth is much harder than standing in a crowd. When you stand alone you have to stand for something even when the rest of the world knocks you down. If everything you do is authentic and genuinely you, the rest will take care of itself. YOUR truth will set you free.